Jasper’s Jabs: Copypasta King

Good evening SWAT troops,

I don’t typically post on this website; in fact, this post will stand to be my first ever. Unfortunately for you (and me), I lost a bet to Lego, and now I am forced to write a “column.”

Jasper's Jabs destruction
Jasper destroying all the legos I have

No, I won’t be answering questions about the bet or how I lost to someone whose muscles are mediocre at best. However, he didn’t specify what it had to be about, so I’ll list some of the dumb things Lego did last week. I know it seems quite the undertaking, after all, this is Legoman, but I shall do my best.

Shockingly, Lego didn’t stir up too much controversy last week. This might be the first set of days that he has escaped without either a news article calling him out or being dragged through the dirt in CPA. If you’re wondering what that is, it’s the organization that we are enslaved by. Beyond that, spread your wings and explore more of the hellscape that is Club Penguin Armies. Don’t join a VC and talk over everyone because I will find you and kill you. Please give me mute perms, Coolguy.

Leggo My Eggo

If you’re over the age of 10, you know the commercial for Eggo Waffles. It’s a disgusting frozen waffle advertised with the slogan: ‘Leggo my Eggo’. Unfortunately, Lego never let go of his ego, so here we are. Have you ever seen a post that didn’t mention his ginormous muscles, flexing his biceps, working on curls, or being the best at something? Probably not. I’m curious if he’s compensating for something, but that’s a discussion for another day. Regardless, anyone in the community can tell you that if one person deserves a trophy for having the most oversized ego, that would be Mr. Legoman himself.

Comedy Helo Me

Every time I join VC, I swear Lego reminds me that he is the best editor as if he didn’t just join and needed to learn how to edit. He’s like Calgo: both think block editor is superior, BUT BOY, ARE THEY WRONG! I once believed in the block editor, but I have since come to my senses. One day, I hope Lego does, too, because while his struggles to change text color is funny, it’s a nuisance. At least he got the format down, even if Caitlyn got us yelled at. For all his talk of being the best, he barely knew the color for SWAT and didn’t bold a damn thing. Please accept my poorly made collage. Oh, and please give me mute perms for the SWAT VC. I nearly cried.

Also, fish.

Copy Pasta

Did someone say copypasta? That’s right, Lego expressed his heartfelt thoughts and feelings and immediately became copypasta. Other honored copy pasta creators include DMT, LordPain, Da Best, and Fulcrum. Now, SWAT has its very own in Legoman. Can we get a HOO RAH, please? No? That’s fine.

Poor Lego wrote this lovely message to CSY, explaining why the 2020 legend inductees were superior to this year’s. Instead, Misty and df44 made sure he knew how copiable (my new word) his message was. Truly a memorable moment of the week, and I still don’t understand why he was so upset. Most people find it an honor and a privilege. Just look at DMT, whose RPF troop copypasta reigns to this day.

Yes Mare, a copy pasta

Until next time SWAT peeps. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I’m all ears. Otherwise, I’m going back to destroying Aisha at rummy.

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